Connecting to Meditation Challenge Online
My daughter-in-law sent me a link to a 15-Day Meditation Challenge by Vanessaloder.com whose foundation for a fulfilling career is "Transformation is 20% Insight, and 80% Action."
Vanessa shares a 5-step process to transform from a busy, clatter life to a fulfilling life purpose.
1. Follow Your Spoons.
Think of a spoon as a unit of energy. Do more activities that feed you energy instead of taking away your energy.
Gives me Energy Takes away Energy
Being with grandchildren Worrying about the cost of supplies
Helping around house Worrying about how what I am doing is being perceived
Creating new educational units Worrying about effectiveness, engagement, and creativity
Energy IN has to be greater than energy OUT for transformation to occur.
Top 10 things that give me spoons
1. Feeling loved, just the way I am, the IMPERFECT ME (needed/wanted/valued/respected)
2. Listening to music while doing chores (I like a tidy home and movement is the best lotion)
3. Dancing (wanted to be a ballet dancer once, and my body moves when it hears music that connects)
4. Exploring new things (really love how education can empower others and keeps me learning)
5. Shopping and buying quality things without spending a fortune
6. Walking and discovering at my pace
7. Connecting to the beauty in nature
8. Grandchildren and family and friends in a positive flow at home, school, with life
9. Healthy me and family (biological and extended)
10. Creating or learning by doing something of meaning
At first, I noticed that my list was filled with feelings that fed my worries and that "the elephant in the room was "coins" related. I discovered that the negative energy follows "how many coins" are being taken. Not a great revelation, but the discovery of the relevance of the need for coins to do what I want also gives me positive energy, was a joyful conclusion.
2. Permission to BE IMPERFECT
I am cynical about this because it is coming from a person who beliefs one has to give permission to be imperfect. "Write yourself permission to clutter."
I am so imperfect is not even funny. My perspective is from what "I spy with my little, eye, mind, and heart." I hate when my family points to my imperfections, mostly based on how we were brought up and how our environments shaped who we are now, but I am also grateful because they help me grow.
3. Create a to-do list. 'Say NO More"
As a retired person, I almost laugh at this because I only have a few things on my plate that take away my energy, and I never really made to-do lists. I still do not make lists. But, I hardly say NO. When I see my husband keeping his ground, I respect him, but that is fine for him. Saying NO is just not in my nature, not because of the burden, but because of the opportunity, I might not take to learn something or get closer to someone I care deeply about.
The opposite has been true in my professional life; I was the one asking people to do extra things. "Outsource or delegate, who can do it for you" is not for me. I believe in the power of learning by doing. How do you teach children to value everyone's work, if they have never cleaned a plate or scrub a toilet? The cleaning ladies might not be there one day and what will the child do? The child might never learn the value of leaving things better than found, in all levels of his/her/their life. This discrepancy in thought might have its roots in generational discrepancies or differences in upbringing.
SAY NO LIST
1. Do not listen to your inner monster
2. Do not drink or eat to be liked, but what you enjoy. Keep up with science to be healthy!
3. Do not give up on instinct
4. Do not be paralyzed by fear
5. Do not say No to the mundane things that give you a sense of worth, regardless of others' perceptions. as 'low brainpower, consumer labor." You find joy in leaving places better than found.
4. Get MOTIVATED
The only failure is settling for a life that makes you unhappy.
FOLLOW YOUR NATIVE GENIUS!
The positive psychologists are coming into play here and I totally agree, hence the URL of my blog. Look at what you enjoy doing and spend time going from incompetent to competent and maybe a genius to create a new dimension in that area that will be of great influence to many after you are gone. I cannot believe how much the theory of FLOW is connecting to my life now.
I am at my best when I am involved in a project that empowers others and me to grow.
When I am at my best, the exact thing I am doing is engaging with others on something I have created to unleash their inner light, their native genius.
When I am doing that what I love the most is that all involved are overcoming barriers to create something new with positive energy and we all are growing in fulfillment and joy.
Follow YOUR SOUL NUDGES. Trust your body, heart, intuition, and soul rather than your mind, ego, wallet, or society. Ego pushes (logical, status quo, traditional). Soul Pulls (illogical, creative, feels good in your body). I have done this my entire life. I just have done it as a hobby and have not developed competency or genius.
5. Find your tribe
I have people in my life that could be my tribe. Joan, Jeannie, Joanne, Julia (she sent me this link). Interesting that my tribe names start with J. Maybe because what we have in common is a priority for JOY in life. I do not directly connect on this area to them. I have to be more intentional at having them as meditation bodies and seek to focus on developing my competency in this area. I am also sharing these ideas with family members, but none of them have prioritized this type of exploration in their lives.
Today was supposed to be Day 5, but they sent Day 4. I am doing Meditations after I get up, which is very early. I have not been writing my reflective thoughts, but the actions I have taken after each meditation day are as follows:
15 Days Meditation Challenge
9/19/2021 Day 15: Rewire your brain with positivity by Elizabeth Furest. " Elizabeth is an energy healer who will be showing you how to zap unhelpful neurons in your brain, and build new neural pathways to expand love, kindness, humor, and whatever you’d like! you’ll learn some of the most cutting-edge research that demonstrates our ability to influence not only our brains but our genetics and DNA, with our thoughts and beliefs."
Blow up Fear in your brain and fill it with 24K gold. Neuroplasticity! DNRS!
Rewiring different parts of your brain, after breathing, look in the back part of your eyes, face FEAR, and let it go. In its place, fill it with 24K gold, resistent to everything.
Genetic programming keep you accepting who you are because you cannot do anything about it. It is a limiting trap. POWERLESSNESS! sets in. Research: Our beliefs trump our genes. Dr. Bruce Lipon, "The biology of belief." Life is not control by genes. Treating ilness mostly by drugs must be re-examined. Our body is mental and physical. The invisible field controls the visible. It is possible to influence our genes.
When you change your perception, you can change your feeling. Your perception can change you! Your excuses are not longer good to tell yourself. Plascivo effect not only on drugs, but also in surgeries of arthritic knees! Your mind can work miracles. Beliefs determine our mental and physical health. limitations or traits do not have to make you who you can possibly want to be.
Grandma time out! I just do not want to be angry! I get to decide who I want to be and I do not want to be angry and hurtful to you because you are in need of having a tanturm. I am the one in power! I own this true. Live more intentionally. Bring back to center! how do I want to show up.
Who do you want to be? You get to decide! You are the one in power. Turn off the bad You are a living of joy and happiness. You need to create that in your life and to be committed to it.
9/19/2021 Day 14: Rewrite your Story How often do we keep past hurt, holding to r Doc Shepperd podcast, Armed Chair expert. "Resentment is like drinking poison, hoping that will kill the other person." Release the pain. Do not hold the burden. Do not ruminate on it. Concentrate on the present moment.
1. Walking with your inner wounded child. Rewrite it. Ask what they need or allow them to destroy it. Have a temper tantrum. We could throw a temper tantrum together. A healing experience. Let the wounded child allow to hear what she needed to hear not what you wanted to do.
Let go of the past and heal wounded parts of yourself
1. Hear your breath. Tune in to how the body is feeling today. Where is the tension
2. Visit your inner child. Mom and dad fighting. Running to grandmother and asking her to stop it. I am seeing the scene from above. I was maybe 5 or 7 years old. I am at my beach home. I throw a tantrum. I destroyed everything. I just could not do that. I never really had a complete tantrum. I will say this is not ok. I did not get what I wanted it. why do you love each other this way? I feel unloved and unwanted because you are unhappy with each other and it must be my fault. This is not the best for me. You let me down!
3. Walk out of the house and just down the road was my grandmother's beach house. My loving place. She greets me and by the bedroom she says nothing. I received the welcome, hugs, and I say "Make it stop." She tells me that everything will be ok.
I am not being what Thomas needs from me when I tell him I will leave. I need to ask him, what do you need from me now? I am assuming that he needs the attention but taking my physical presence which in good times he treasures is maybe disappointing him even more.
9/19/2021 Day 13: Feel More Love Metha Practice (Loving Kindness Meditation) Cultivate love, your capacity to feel love. It will give you positivity
1. Increases multiple positive emotions. AWE, love, joy, life satisfaction reduces
2. Reduces self-criticism
3. Improvement in self-compassion
4. Strengthen your capacity for empathy
5. Improves your relationships
6. Reduce pain- No more pills for headaches
7. Increases compassion. Improve health, well being
8. Makes you look younger. Increases your something that makes you look older.
Sending Loving-Kindness to You: May you be happy. May you feel safe, and protected both internally and externally. May you have a deep sense of happiness, well-being, and Peace. May you be healthy and strong. May you accept your limitations. May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May you be held in Loving Kindness
Loving yourself and using this energy to overcome thoughts. Recharge your mind with positivity.
Cleansing yourself from negativity.
What stops me: Criticism, insecurities, FEAR, guilt, being harmful. If I visualized myself clear of them, clear, content, and radiant. Direct kindness towards yourself
1. May I be healthy! May I be safe and protected! May I let go of things that hold me down! May I be free from bad habits and addictive behaviors! May I release negative thinking and self-doubt! May I be guided by a clear heart and a bright mind! May I be rejuvenated and renewed! May my journey unfold with ease and grace. May I be loved!
2. Deep breaths. Clear all doubts.
3. Visualize a person you respect and was helpful, Mr. Rainbolt, and repeat loving kindness.
4. Take a few deep breaths sending it to him. Then let the image feather away
5. Visualize family: Thomas Then Coco, then Brian, then Mark, then Julia, then Florchi, then Lyly, then Joe, then Gary
6. Take a few deep breaths
7. Senor Leopoldo! receive my loving kindness
8. Take a few deep breaths
9. Father Youmans, a person whose behavior I found challenging
10. A community(The Towers) or the world. May WE BE.... Direct good wishes to the world. Allow the whole group to dissolve.
How do you feel? Deep breath. Increase confidence, love, and lucidity. May your day have fierce self-love.
It was as lovely as I remembered it. I first encountered loving-kindness meditation during the lockdown of Covid 19 when ironically our own breathing could kill us. I listened to Youtube videos while walking. For a few minutes, during my loving-kindness meditation walks, I felt protected and creative. For the skeptical, try it. If it does not give you at least a sense of balance; it will reduce your rage and blood pressure.
9/19/2021 Day 12: Increase Confidence Listen to your body. Be in alignment with your body. Do not ignore your deeper truth. We know what we do not want!
1. Body never lies. You feel heavy.
2. Lack of sleep.
3. Unexplained illness
4. You are in your head too much. Overanalyzing things
5. Lack of motivation-procrastination. You might not really want it
6. Burnt out or exhausted.
7. Self-sabotage. We kind of take the backdoor to it.
In a should energy (society's voice) vs. connected to heart, intuition, body...gut feeling.
Visualize that you are Inhaling calm, peaceful energy. Release any tension, any anxiety, any worry. Remember a time when you were in a should energy. Pinwheels for Peace with kids. Teaching too much. Everybody got disconnected from the experience. It felt like a heavy brick. Release that should energy. The other was when I just connected to the essence of the pinwheel for peace. I was totally connected to getting to know the person. It was lovely. I felt so good, so linked.
Helping my grandchildren to find peace within themselves is what I am struggling with. Should says to be corrective like my parents did. My gut says to keep following peace education and what my daughter-in-law is learning. Nobody teaches us how to be good parents. We just do our best. That is "what source" says. Try your best without being judgemental. What the toddlers are undergoing is as real to them as my own personal struggles, but they live in a different world than the one I experience.
Talk to your should voice and then ask what your source would do and connect to it.
9/17/2021 Day 11: Surrender, Allow, and Trust (s.a.t) These three words come at a perfect time this week. I have been working on my dream to share with my grandchildren my love for calm, peace, and serenity. My 5-year old started Kindergarten at a new school. He told me that relationships at the new school "are hard." He has had hard moments at home when someone tells him NO. His tantrums are getting worse instead of better. My granddaughter is also changing because her hero is her brother. My peace week days are not peaceful so far. I see worry and fear in the parents and us grandparents. The grandchildren are my world, they are the focus of my ideal life. So far, my little grandson has given me great lessons in life. We will see how today's meditation, which I should have done many days ago, connects to the moment and time in my life. For some reason, my grandson has perfect timing in the mindfulness of his actions with my life needs as a seeker of a joyful life for us all.
Clinging or grasping for something you have or wanting to have, creates SUFFERING. Resisting something we do not want also creates SUFFERING! Her example of her daughter's suffering with food poisoning brought to mind how Thomas says it is hard to take relationships in Kindergarten, but then, he moves on to playing and enjoying painting with all his being. His periods of fear and negative energy are less than they were before. He still breaks anything related to the person who caused it or is trying to help him fix it, but then he trusts himself to go back to happy mode. He does not overanalyze his behavior as my husband or I do. Our minds spin on the stories we make for ourselves on how awful his behavior and experiences are for such a young child. Meanwhile, Thomas goes in and out of these experiences without overanalyzing them. Or at least, I hope he does. He seems to be truly calm and neutral and maybe even happy.
My own resistance to the negative things in life is not a positive energetic attitude. Bad things are going to happen. Things that we do not want to happen HAPPEN! They are HARD! to take. Our mind makes it worse by resisting it, fighting it, looking at the negative consequences from many angles or perspectives. We create stories in our minds that create suffering. Meditation and mindfulness empower us to surrender to life and allow it to actually experience less suffering, improving our ability to handle adversity like the loss of someone dear. (While watching a video about resilience, my grandson ask what is the loss of someone you love. I answered, like your Nana, his mother's mother, going to heaven). I was trying to give him tools to face his "hard experiences" in Kindergarten with resilience in an indirect way. A few minutes after we started to paint together. He created his rendition of what he told his mother to be the Bible and how Jesus went to heaven. His mother co-related to her teachings on Easter. I connected to our conversation about the loss of a dear person, especially by the way he mentioned that the clouds I made needed rays of sunshine, of life. Did my story take his words further than he intended? Perhaps, but as he was painting we heard the song Aleluya in Spanish and Halleluyah in English. He wrote both of those words on his painting. When he finished it he said he wanted it to be in a museum because it was his best painting experience so far. Then, he said, "maybe no because that is where real masterpieces are." I suggested a wall in the garage. He chose the mudroom door. It is the door he uses everyday day to go to school.
The wisdom of a 5-year old mind might be the reason why meditation works to mitigate suffering. We do not have so much suffering anticipating, experiencing, and recovering from difficult times in life.
We want to be like holding water in our hands, gently, do not cling or grasp to the good, and do not resist or push away the bad. Just simply surrender, allow, and trust. When meditating if you have an itchy spot, allow it to happen; observe it. Resist the desire to scratch it right away. Surrender. Allow it! You observe that the sensation goes away. Often in these calm stages is when we allow new creative ideas to come! Just like the Halleluyah painting by my grandchild. Oh, the wisdom of a temper-tantrumming 5-year old. So wise for his years. He is reacting to our fears of our expectations "not" or being realizing. His happiness and joy are not connected to our dreams of him. He is the master of his own life. We are just joyfully connected to his journey.
My creative peaceful place occurs while walking, mostly alone in beautiful surroundings or with someone from whom I can learn or help by letting their thoughts be our links to relationship building. Walking is my SAT. Maybe that is why during the pandemic I composed my first and so far only original song, Walk and Pray during the heart of the pandemic lockdown.
True moments of SAT are difficult to have but joyful to trust on the universe! It has helped me not to be afraid of being happy and to find resilience in the process of undergoing life challenges or times for growth and change.
Ancestors, universe, What will you have me do today? Where will you have me go? What will you have me say? and to Whom? I commit to SAT to the Universe to allow me to align me to my highest good and the highest good of all beings everywhere, to carry me forward on my path, to bring me into alignment with my truth, to move as me, in me, and through me. I SAT the universe to create in me as me and through me.
What will you have me do today? Where will you have me go? What will you have me say? and to Whom? Robin Lavine! Thomas, Caroline, Mark, Brian, Julia, Florchi, Lyly, Aya, Mrs. Ellis, ???
9/15/2021 Day 10: Imagine your ideal life: Visualize your ideal life! Connect to that person who has kindness, respect, love, peace, calm and happy changes with challenges that are handled with efficiency and great results. Money is no object, peace, and serenity of mind, body and spirit are the ideal life with good health and engaging and growing relationships and actions.
The more you can call the five senses to your visualization, the stronger it will be. My body feels like I am at a serene ocean scene with my grandchildren happy to be with each other and the parents smiling with great joy along with my husband at the results of the second graduation from college. My sisters and other close relatives and old and new friends are in the background supporting us. They have happy and fulfilled lives. The smell of favorite dishes from many lands fills the atmosphere. The taste is sweet but not sugary. The touch is soft as Pima cotton. The sounds in the background are of an accomplished orchestra with magnificent singers of all ages. It feels so good all over the senses.
When you are at a relaxed, calm stage, you are able to be more creative.
Here is the document of my ideal life details at this stage in my life. My question, in 10 years after the three years, when I will be in my mid-seventies is What have you done with your life? What is next?
9/14/2021 Day 9: Use your breath to Relax Your breath activates your parasympathetic nervous system. It is the place where you can call at will to make more peaceful, calm, and happy. Based on the PMS research of Rick Hansen. There is a connection between the neurons that guide your internal organs and your digestive tract. The parasympathetic and sympathetic branches of the nervous system are connected like a seesaw. If one goes up, the other is pushed down. The parasympathetic is the break and the sympathetic is the gas of a car. Our daily lives push us into sympathetic overdrive and do not allow for parasympathetic breaks. We are always going, getting stressed out. We have to learn how to activate more of the parasympathetic nervous system. We need to learn how to bring more of a sense of calm and peace to have a healthier life for our bodies.
All you have to do to activate your parasympathetic nervous system is take two deep breaths. When you inhale, FEEL YOUR LUNGS FULLY. THEN, HOLD FOR A SECOND OR SO. THEN EXHALE IN A RELAXED WAY. There is a feeling of serenity with contentment! Oxygen enters and carbon dioxide is released. It helps you handle, the fly, fight or freeze reaction. PMS activation or your mellow rest activity is more important for daily life. We need both, sympathetic and Parasympathetic areas. Sympathetic disconnected is not as essential to survival as parasympathetic. Relax contentment is your based line.
1. Extend your exhalation, make it longer. Inhale by count 3, exhale by the count of 6. Do not forget to stop for a second or two after inhaling. JUST THREE BREATHS LIKE THIS WILL ACTIVE YOUR pms
2. INCREASE and balance YOUR HEART RATE VARIABILITY. The hearth mass institute has provided ways in which your heart rate can provide better physical and mental health. All the techniques involve PMS. www.heartmath.com.
a. Breath inhalation and exhalation are the same duration for a minute or two.
b. At the same time, imagine that instead of your lungs, you are breathing through your heart.
c. Inhale to the count of 4 and breathing out to the count of four at the same time rate. Imagine breathing in and out into your heart and through it.
d. While exhaling, bring to mind a heartfelt emotion like gratitude or love.
e. Imagine something that makes you feel grateful or loved/loving. The result is a serene, joyful you. Better heart health and better circulation. A healthier happier you.
I felt validation for my gut feeling that breathing actually helps handle difficulties. I have been practicing deep breathing since I learned it during childbirth classes 41 years ago. For 18 years, I have tried to motivate teens to use breathing to help themselves, but I was not sure why it worked for me, therefore, my intuition did not have the credibility of the science behind my gut feelings. I was a subject of ridicule like the teacher in the movie Clueless.
My grandson came back from his first Monday in kindergarten excited that there was science everywhere around us. He mentioned that we were made of neutrons and protons. We were made of atoms. This little magical 5-year old has a way to connect my life to his in amazing ways. As he struggles with a new school, wanting to learn everything around him, jealousy, fears, anger with himself and his world because everything cannot be as perfect as he wants it to be; we have the science of happiness to share. He has pictures taking breathing seriously and now I have science behind my guiding principle to breath yourself to health and contentment. I love positive psychology! It is almost like overall sickness and decay prevention.
Meditation for breath: Breath just like the waves of the ocean, naturally coming and going. Breath in. Hold for a second or two. Breath out. Just listening or focusing on the path of the breath. Relaxing your tongue, your eyes, sink deep into the earth. A shorter inhale and longer exhale activate a sense of contentment. Inhale to 4, exhale to 6. Stop between inhale and exhale for a second or two. Repeat about 4 or 5 times. Get air into your belly and get the air out from your chest to your belly.
To use the breath to calm me breathing from earth to cosmos. 3 times.
Inhale
1st: Breath comes from the center of the earth through your feet to your heart.
2nd: Breath down from the heart of the cosmos, through your head to your heart
3rd: Imagine that everything is being cleansed down
Exhale
1st: Releases up from your heart up to the sky to the cosmos
2nd: From to the hearth through your legs to the center of the planet
3rd: You are releasing everything that bothers you into the center of the earth.
9/14/2021: Day 8: Increase Energy: Tune in to the physical energy of my body. Rate 0-10. I am at 7. I have a few hurts. What will make this a 10? Having my house in order, finished pinwheels, watch my grandson happy. I am getting enough sleep, but I am eating too much sugar and caffeine. Not a problem with alcohol, here. Watch the NETFLIX documentary "I am" Tom Schediak.
To increase energy no matter what is taking your good energy away. To learn, you need to be at high energy.
How can I increase my energy? No problems and no worries. They can always be there later. Have nothing to worry about. Tensions flow out of the body. Let them go. We do not need them. Enjoy how this feels. nothing bothers or distracts you.
Imagine a white light pyramid. It glows, sparkles, shimmers. It completely encloses your body. Inhale the white light from inside out. A powerful force that can protect you against anything. You are protected and safe. It is very good inside this pyramid. The white light is healing your body. The pyramid fills with 24k gold. It pours into your brain. All neurons are filling together. It covers you totally. Even your tongue, lips, slowly until it covers every corner of your body, slowly and gently. All cells in the body are buzzing with all this 24k gold. Happy, fill with energy.
If negative energy comes to you, you are protected by this 24K gold because it is with you everywhere you go. I am surrounded by this bubble of 24K gold.
I felt funny with the white light and 24K gold analogies. For me, I think I light a rainbow light and pure silver. I do not know why. This meditation was not as effective for me as the others.
Definition of Self-Compassion
Practicing self-compassion is the most important skill in life. It can help you to be good about yourself, overcome difficulties. It is also good for whenever you feel inadequate, worthy, or I am not good enough, unlovable, or anytime you are comparing yourself to someone else or do not quite measure up.
When I had to focus on a moment of suffering, I selected pinwheels for peace, an art project dear to my heart, but which I think I even messed up with my grandchildren. I did not like how the process developed intentionally and unintentionally. The part of my body where I felt the pressure was my heart and my vocal cords all the way to my head, where a pain developed for an instant and went away when I told myself, this is hard, this is suffering. This is tough. OUCH. The first step is to be mindful that you are having a difficult moment. Acknowledging that the activity is hard. This is living the moment. Practicing mindfulness.
1. Mindfulness vs. Overidentifying: This is hard, this is painful. Absorbe them!
2. Common humanity versus Isolation: Other people have suffered it. Life is hard and imperfect for everyone.
3. Self-kindness versus self-judgment: Put your hands in your chest I am just a little bunny learning my lesson, doing my best.
Switch from inner critic to self-compassion Are you kind to yourself when you struggle?
9/11/2021 Day 6: Improve focus: It is ironic that his meditation started on the 20th anniversary of 9/11. Spend your time and your energy on the things that I really care about. MY FAMILY, MY PURPOSE IN LIFE CONNECTED TO THEM, AND MY COMMUNITY LOCAL AND GLOBAL LINKED TO THE SURVIVAL OF THE PLANET AND OUR LONGEVITY (BEING A GOOD ANCESTOR). It is the next day 9/12/2021 and my grandson had a rage tantrum because he was not getting what he wanted. I am afraid I might be doing things to trigger his anger by focusing on calm/serenity/peace and enjoying being with his sister while he goes to school, a new environment, full of unknowns, surrounded with anxiety and excitement. He had another tantrum this morning which made his mom cry. I heard he freaked out because he broke something of great family meaning to her during his angry minutes. Maybe there is actually some remorse in him. I am full of guilt by the way my religion raised me as guilt is the way to salvation. I want him to have remorse coming from the heart because that is what is going to really fix everything and bring peace to all of us.
Multitasking does not work. The above example is clearer to me now as I tried to multitask the pinwheels for peace and ended up in a process full of conflict with the grandchildren and a peaceful process when I did a pinwheel with the neighbor. With the first group, I want pinwheels that spin, were made with recycled material while the children learn art and writing. With the second group, I concentrated on the pinwheel being the vehicle to get to know the person and what brought peace to her.
Focus on one thing at a time. The natural rhythms of the brain: Our brains and our bodies go through 90-minute cycles during the night and also during the night. Power Hour 75 minutes
1. Put away all distractions. Get the number 1 to-do list. Focus exclusively on that for 20 minutes timer. Then do something completely unrelated. (2-minute stop) Then set the timer for another 20 minutes followed by another 2-minute break. Then another 20 minutes with a 2-minute break. Then last 20 minutes with a 10-minute break.
2. Better Boundaries between activities: Email checking It takes 23.15 seconds to get back to what you are doing. Set periods of the day when you take email for one hour. Let people know about your system. Put your priorities before the emails.
3. At home, mindful awareness: Set one to five minutes, completely focus on one person. Really tuning 5 senses of what you are doing or the person. Do not do more than one thing at a time. Be really present at the moment.
The more you train your brain to be focused on one thing, the easier it becomes. Increase Focus, Productivity, and Presence!
The meditation concentrating on the dominant hand and focusing there for a few minutes until you could feel the warmth of your concentration was awesome. Focusing on the hand slowly and turning it around was also awesome. When I went around faster it was a bit disturbing as if I lost the concentration, but the focus was still there and I was able to go back to my hand and then gather the other hand and finally fill my whole body with the energy I had while really focusing on my concentration energy. Nice feeling at the end.
9/1/2020 Day 5: Feel Deeply Grateful. Five things that I am grateful for on 9/1/2020, the month of the 11 Days of Global Unity (9/11-9/21 UN's International Day of Peace) or PEACE ONE DAY PEACE DAY:
1. My family
2. My health
3. My a few close friends
4. The life my husband's hard work and my small contributions have created for our retirement years
5. The kindness I receive on a daily basis
I commit to writing my list at least once a month.
After Vanessa said be grateful that you are here right now. Someone gave you birth, clothed, and fed you, the image of my parents; young and strong, driving us to the beach, singing, and having a nice snack in the car came to my mind. I could not be here if they had not loved each other so much to have me.
I am thankful for my heart, the strong guide to my soul and to life. I am thankful for all the ancestors that created every piece that make life easier like potable water, electrical switches, and television, one of my windows to other worlds. I am thankful for the people who make my life possible and I will never meet, the ones who put food on my table, clothes on my body, inspire me to be more human and kind, the ones who challenge to keep the monster in me in check, the ones who inspire and guide me to be more creative and kind. I am thankful for the ones who empowered all this electronic communication. I am thankful for the ones who create the tools for me to learn and teach in more connecting and innovative ways. I am thankful for the ones that create entertainment that uplifts my spirit. For the first time, I am also grateful for myself, just the way I am, the imperfect me who realizes that I am the source and the manager of my own happiness and that I am never and never will be really alone because of all the connections that make every day of my life possible. I am thankful that I am here today writing this to enhance my ability to find and share peace.
I am grateful to the universe or the high being that help create the family I have and had, as imperfect as we were and are; we had good influences. Now, I am grateful that I have the opportunity to empower and guide with kindness, love, and peaceful ways the younger ones in my path. I am grateful for the moments together that take my breath away and the daily activities that get us closer despite all the mistakes I make along the way. I am grateful for my father's legacy-my virgencita-that keeps me balance in prayer when that is my only resource to give and provide peaceful energy.
I am grateful for the way my grandchildren are singing my lullabies in Spanish and the way our eyes connect and our fingers touch when we say good night. I am grateful to have my husband with me 24/7. I am grateful we are healthy and can enjoy our grandchildren. I am thankful for the connections my daughter-in-law is allowing me to make with her through this meditation. I am grateful for the joy I see in my son as he cooks and feeds our family. I am also grateful for the challenges that come with every relationship. I am grateful for the opportunity those moments provide to get us closer. I am grateful for a very special peach I ate today as my husband reserved it especially for me. I am grateful for my grandson realizing that he is not the only one that gets in trouble. All of us do.
Before I started this meditation, I was worry about my husband and I making it 24/7 together and getting to know each other more deeply. I was worry and fearful of our future. After the meditation, I am at a better place, focusing on all the positivity in our relationship and that our imperfections and incompatibility are minor in comparison with the love in our hearts for each other and our child and his family. Gratitude has the power to uplift your spirit. No judging, just authentic gratitude.
At the beginning of this meditation, I pledged to write my gratefulness once a month, but instead of focusing on what went wrong during the day and ruminate in negativity, I will focus on what during the day made me feel thankful. I will be happier because my spirit, my soul's GPS will be making uplifting connections. Isn't that what happiness and peace are all about? The video was amazing. I downloaded the gratefulness handout.
8/31/2020: Day 4 AGAIN: Stop the worry cycle. Deep Breaths. Visualize inhaling calm and peaceful energy. With each exhaling release tension/worry you have been holding on to. Inhaling calm. Exhaling worry.
I have several things that worry me now and the permission to "having nothing to worry about" was very enjoyable, but it lasted only a few seconds. The relaxation did not have time to move through my body when Vanessa provided the puppy metaphor. She helped me hold a leash to bring me back to focus, to gently guide my attention to my moment of relaxation, not overthinking and praying for my sisters. Then, I found the colors white and blue associated with my relaxation. I love the sky and the sea and how they peacefully unite on the horizon keeping their identities intact. They have nothing to worry about. I was there too. I was given permission to be there without feeling guilty for being there. I enjoy the moment, exactly as it was.
The one action I took was to create a reflective post of my thoughts and enhance my competence in who this woman is and what she has to offer on her website. The result or action taken is this post.
I was supposed to be on Day 5, but they sent me Day 4. A mistake or the universe letting me know that I need to focus more time on releasing the tension, worry, and fear? I also believe in the power of serendipitous moments.
I decided to explore taking the course- if it is not too expensive - and signed up to get a Challenge body. I also requested a link to allow me to re-hear previous days as I want to write my reflections in greater detail. Vanessa's people answered immediately, but I also looked through my deleted emails and now I can continue my reflection of the first three days. I am working on being less dependent on people and solving challenges on my own with the resources around me because I see so many older people like me that have stopped learning paralyzed by their fear of technology.
8/30/2020: Day 4 Stop the worry cycle. I loved the image of visualizing the colors of calm and peace. I thought of white and blue. Then, I thought about how marketing had shaped my perspective, but the explanation to myself of a horizon where the sky meets the ocean in harmony, equity, and keeping their full identities fits my very personal definition of calm. I also feel is the first time, I am getting my very personal brand of how I visualize the two great values I seek for my life, peace, and balance.
8 /29//2020: Day 3: Let Go of Fear This meditation was finished on 9/10/2021 Fear can stop you from having a happy life, taking chances, and the spotlight. Releasing and shifting can help but also face it and moving on despite the fear. "Fear is excitement without the breath." The thing itself is not as bad as the fear I feel before facing it. My grandson said, "the flu shot was not as bad as my fear of it." The anticipation is not as bad as the thing itself. I am afraid to tell my grandson how much I dislike the way he treats his parents and sister sometimes. I am going to do it in a kind way, but I am not going to let the fear ruin our relationship stop me. I feel I need to do it for me to find peace with him and because I love him so much to let it go on as I perceive it is.
I was surprised that she equated fear with procrastination because fear stops you from even taking the first step.
What are my top 10 excuses or fears and next to each one why that is total BS?
1. If I feel joy, something is going to happen to bring me grief. Life is change, things will happen. I have the fortitude and resilience to face them. Enjoy the joyful moment to the fullest.
2. I am not at the top of anyone's list - maybe my husband's- If I am unable to be of service, I will be pushed aside like an old shoe. My importance as a person does not depend on others' opinions or on their embracement of my company or what I can do for them. I am capable of taking care of myself. While I can walk and remember, I am going to be fine. I am the master of my own happiness.
3. I am afraid to be with people who think differently than me because I do not have anything in common. If I let them take the conversation to what they are interested in talking about, I will find something we have in common, like maybe a hobby, a store, love for family, etc. I just need to face the reality that the majority of people do not think like I do. Enjoy the time together and let it go. You might not ever see that person again. On the other hand, you might find a great friend disguised as a possible negative energy source.
4. I am afraid of public speaking because I am short, speak with an accent, and my ideas connect to very few people. Speak from your heart about something you know well and are passionate about. The rest will follow the flow of your connectivity with others' hearts. If you connect to one, you did what you intended to do. That is all that matters.
5. I have self-doubt about what my life will be like from now on. I am retired and seem to be sailing on somebody else's boat. What do I need to do to be the captain of my own vessel? Is it worth it? Should I go back to work? I always wanted to create a business, but I did not know what. My ability as a PreK and K teacher is not great, but I am trying. What am I seeking? Will I ever find it? Am I too old to begin again?
6. I am afraid of death. It is going to happen. Live each day to the fullest.
7. I am afraid of how good I am for my grandchildren as I am now the only grandmother they have. I wish they had had more time to know their maternal grandparents. I will do the best I can.
8. I am afraid my husband and I might have a hard time in our new host state as we are together 24/7. Take it as a chance to really know each other and become closer. At the end of our days, we will be there for each other in a way nobody else can.
9. I am afraid I am not getting to know my son and his wife as deeply as I could. We are different, some distance is good.
10. I am afraid I have not done anything of meaning before I died. I am doing what I can. Some of us that are all we can do. My parents did not either. Also, what is the one thing of meaning I am seeking???
11. I am afraid of being afraid. That fear also propels you to action.
12. I am afraid to be happy. I feel guilty when I am happy and start thinking about what is going to take away the feeling. Things will happen, I just will have to get back to happy mode because my body and my immune system need it.
All our feelings come from the same source. Our fear stops us from feeling happiness
Self-doubt, trusting yourself. I am a natural self-doubter.
We simply breathe. We do not doubt it. Speaking and living your truth, it just happens. It feels joyful.
My secret garden: A fall New England morning by the seaside. A bench by the lighthouse in OKC by Hefner Lake. I believe in the impossible dream of Peace, Respect, Kindness, Equity on Earth. My insecurity is that the dream is impossible.
When asked to give a shape to one of my fears, I could only visualize back pain. When I tried harder, I saw a sea urchin. When asked to touch it, I refused at first. When I embraced it in the palm of my hand, it felt as I expected, needles touching my skin. Looking at it with compassion, seeing it as a living creature with a purpose in our co-existence did not lessen the pain, but I realized, it did not want to hurt me. Asking my emotion, what do you need from was kind of weird. I did not get any answer. Since my fear was death, I replied to myself. There is no doubt it is going to happen. Embrace each day and hope that in the afterlife, if there is any, you will find and provide joy.
8/28/2020: Day 2: Cultivating Joy Hurray to neuroscience and the concept of neuroplasticity (our brains continue to learn and grow, day after day your mind is building your brain you may choose to give your negative self, experience-dependent neuroplasticity. Hippocampus:
If you routinely practice relaxation, you are building that in your brain, rewires your brain, -What you pay attention to reshapes your brain for the better- for making Cultivating Joy a priority in our lives.
We were wire to remember negativity because in evolution it was THE KEY for survival. Stop thinking of the one thing that went wrong and focus on the positive ones. The brain is wire to go against contentment and fulfillment, but we can rewire that and focus on the good. Then, instead of being a shifter of goodness, you become a receptor. It is not selfish to feel good when others are at war, dying, or starving. You become better energy for connections that might, in a ripple effect, can actually be a change maker there too.
Three steps to cultivate Joy:
1. Good facts into good experiences: A taste of good fruit. I am so lucky my husband share a delicious piece of peach. He chose for us to savory it together instead of eating it all himself.
2. Enjoy and savor a joyful memory: Seating by the water tank in front of my house when I was 12 years old and feeling my pinky touch the pinky of the boy I like for the first time in my life and never became even my boyfriend. It makes me feel the sensation of an indescribable joyful connection. My neurons are cultivating the good.
3, Connect to neuroplasticity in the brain: Help your neurons to cultivate JOY.
8/27/2020: Day 1: Free yourself from self-doubt: I had a little negative reaction to Vanessa's introductory video. "Cultivate a vacation mindset", Is that even possible when so many things happen on a daily basis and I seem to live my life "praying not guided by faith, but by fear." Being calm/peaceful in balance is such a hard thing to achieve. I decided to go through the challenge because I wanted a unique connection to my daughter-in-law as she had sent me the link. I will say, it felt good through my body. My daughter-in-law and I are very different, but we both love deeply my once little baby boy, and now she is raising my two adorable and joyfully challenging grandchildren.
My inner GPS (heart, body, intuition: whispers of my soul-gut feeling) tells me that part of my deeper truth is to find and provide peace and balance. To live and speak my truth, I have to go from thinking about the goodness in it to knowing and sharing the whispers of my soul with others. But do I trust the whispers of my soul? I have so much negativity and fear surrounding me every day. The cynicism and criticism I have received from my students, colleagues, my place of work, some actions of the clergy and people in positions of power made me doubt my deeper truth.
Vanessa then asked to stay in a state of deep connection to my heart, my inner truth. The question, What is the one thing you have done in your past that felt really good in your body? brought the image of my grandchildren holding my aging hand in their soft warm hands looking directly into my eyes and stating, "Grandma, I love you." the moment before I left their rooms as they were falling asleep. WOW! an amazing, cozy, heartwarming feeling going through my entire body. The gentle touch, the light in their eyes within the darkness of their rooms, and their soft little voices giving unconditional love to me.
I have been listening to my body, but I have not trusted it. Or if I trusted it, I do not act or delay reaction because the outside pressures seem "more realistic and appropriate." Vanessa said she took her kid away from school due to a whisper of her soul. How does she live with the reality that she took her baby away from many opportunities children need of being connected to other children developmentally at the same age? Was she acting more for herself, not as an overprotective mother, but as a mother who needed her child to depend on her because of her need to control and be the center of the child's joy? I wrestled with that same question when I had to put my child in daycare because I had to work to help with house payments. Now, looking back, my decision was not the best for me, but it was the best for my child. So, trusting the whispers of my soul, not an easy thing for me, but when I do not share what I feel and the outcome is a desired one, I am glad, that gut feeling took some of my worries away.
Placing hands in my heart and visualizing reverence and compassion as a ray of light made me feel good inside. The completion of this sentence My body is been trying to tell me did not come as easily as the answer to the first question. I finally decided, to eat better. Incredibly, the completion of the sentence came the same day I enrolled on an online free course in Healthy Eating. This somehow is making me a stronger believer in my inner GPS.
Vanessa continued the meditation with another sentence completion. One time I had a gut feeling about something, and I did not listen to my body, What happened? I was asked by a former student to give a speech to her sorority about the power of service. At first, I felt very excited but declined because I did not want her to be disappointed with my performance. I also felt it would take too much time to do a good presentation for an audience I had no connections with like I did with her. My fear stopped me from an amazing collaboration. I was thinking, not about her, but about me, and failed to give her the chance to collaborate on a presentation that could have gotten us closer. We were a great team from the time she was a freshman in high school. Regardless of how the presentation might have gone, we would have enjoyed the process we developed together and our relationship would have been stronger than it is now.
Vanessa continued the meditation with another sentence completion, What happened of another time when you had a gut feeling and you listened to it? I went to a trunk show at the apartment complex where I recently moved. I did not know a single person. My husband almost convinced me not to go, but the marketing of French clothing at Pandemic Discounts was an opportunity I did not want to miss. Something inside me told me to go. I did not only bought some nice clothing, but I also met Barbara, an older lady who has embraced me with open arms and it is making me feel welcomed in a new environment. I tell my grandchildren that you get back what you give; if you send positive energy, you get back positive energy. Following, my soul whisper, I decided to teach my grandchildren about the International Day of Peace through the innocence of a toddler-proof pinwheel. I want to connect them to my inner truth to be remembered as a seeker of peace and joy. This is the truth that I have been ignoring and have been too scared to face.
When I am in touch with my heart, I feel joy
When I am in touch with my heart, the deeper truth I know is that if there are 8 million paths to peace in the world, mine is finding purpose for my life. The purpose of my life is to have and provide calm, peace, joy, equity, and moments that take my breath away.
When I am in touch with my heart, the deeper knowing that I connect with is that I want peace.
One deeper truth that I have been hiding is that I fear my limitations to achieve peace and balance my personal life are my fear, my ego, the monster within me that sees things only from my perspective. The excuses I give myself not to start something and the lack of discipline to get to competency in anything I start. I am like a 5-year old showing great frustration when unable to achieve the perfection wanted.
I have been honest about following my deeper truth because I find it impossible to attain, but I do not want to give up trying.
Two real connections to my heart or intuition were:
1. bought presents for people I hardly know, just because my body felt good about doing it.
2. told a person I really wanted to get to know her and came to a concert just to connect with her
If I could pretend that my soul is talking to me, it will say, you are taking for granted some of the closest people around you. Being different is part of the joy, but I need to keep my identity and integrity of my inner GPS to be happy and for them to be happy with me. My family is what my inner truth starts.
Connect to your inner GPS. Notice what connects to your deeper truth. Trust it and take action.
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